i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
