i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
