imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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