come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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