She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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