Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
