We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
