Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
