But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
