Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
