Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
