I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
