I can tuck mytits in my pants
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
