Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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