I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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