I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
