I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Barsexuality is the new black.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
