Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
