I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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