Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
