My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
