Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
