Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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