I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ttyl tear gas
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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