this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
