New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
