Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
