Got a toothbrush?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
