so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
