Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
