11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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