what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
