i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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