dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
