then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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