Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
