Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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