the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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