My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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