What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
