my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
