I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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