Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
