Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
