another moral hangover. fuck.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
