I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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