I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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