the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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