im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just invented taco cereal.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
