My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
