We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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