Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
