She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
