I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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