Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i now understand why vodka
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
