Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize