we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
