its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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