My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
