so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize