I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
