so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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