apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
