so explain again why im purple
no
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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