You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize