I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
