I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
