what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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