What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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